I was thinking today that a lot must have changed in Australia since I left in 2000 and, as is the case with emigrants the world over, the view I have of my home country is increasingly outdated. Whenever I begin a sentence with the words "Well, in Australia..." I'm actually talking about the Australia of seven years ago not the Australia as it is today. I'm very conscious that the gap between my memories of the country and its current reality will only become wider the longer I'm away. Sad but true.

So, it came as somewhat of a surprise to hear that the Howard government has just introduced a citizenship test, covering Australian history, society, and culture. From early last month, all prospective Australian citizens must pass this written test before being granted citizenship. While friends of mine from America, Canada and the UK are not phased as their countries have had such tests for many years, it was something that I could never have imagined would be implemented in Australia. Who are we trying to keep out this time? Is it just a modern day version of the shameful White Australia Policy, as those sample questions look to me as though they were written to favour white, middle class Anglo-Saxon potential Liberal party voters!

It was interesting that when Kevin Andrews, the minister in charge of Immigration was asked who the first Australian Prime Minister was, he could correctly identify Edmund Barton, but not the political party he belonged to! Which I was rather amused by as old Edmund "Toby Tosspot" Barton was a member of the Protectionist party, which was the forerunner of Mr Andrews' very own Liberal Party (an oxymoron if I ever heard one). Now if a government minister doesn't know that, how can he expect the average potential Australian citizen to know.

I already have my Swedish citizenship, which involved no test, but is nonetheless something I am very proud about and something I feel I earned. The fact that I choose to live and work here, pay taxes and live by the law of the land was enough reason for them to approve my application, which was a relief.

Anyway, as you would imagine, Aussies being Aussies, there are many joke versions of this citizenship test circulating around the internet and you no doubt have received as many forwarded versions of it as I have. This inspired Kate at Australians Abroad to hold a competition, asking people to send in ten sample questions to test prospective citizens. I sent in a bit of a tongue-in-cheek entry (which I can't remember as I didn't keep a copy) and much to my surprise, I won a prize in the European section, which arrived in my letterbox today, all the way from the lovely Eve at AustraUSA.




I was chuffed! Goodies from home always bring a warm fuzzy feeling and I happily showed Lambi the boomerang, which she needn't fetch as it comes back itself. Which is just as well because Lambi doesn't fetch. Ever. It's just not her thing. Lars-Göran was circling me like a great white shark, attracted by the smell of chocolate. Thirty seconds after that picture was taken, the Violet Crumble bar disappeared down his hungry throat.

Of course, had I known what he was about to say, not only would I have never shared my Violet Crumble with him, but I would seriously have to reconsider whether we should stay married. He had asked what questions I had written and while I couldn't remember them all, I said that one of them asked which national park Skippy lived in. He started opening my Crunchie and said "Oh that was the Dolphin, wasn't it?"

The dolphin? What dolphin? Surely he doesn't mean that American upstart Flipper? Man, Skippy could whip Flipper with one paw tied behind her back. I snatched back my Crunchie and hissed at him - "Skippy is a kangaroo! You'll never get into Australia now if I have anything to do with it."

And she's not not just any ordinary kangaroo - look what our Skippy could do:




Dolphin indeed! I'd like to see Flipper do a tenth of that!

Take it away, Skip!





"Skippy, Skippy, Skippy the bush kangaroo.
Skippy, Skippy, Skippy our friend ever-true."