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YOU KNOW YOU’VE
BEEN IN This seems to be an almost bottomless list. If you can think
of any others, please email me here and I’ll happily add them in. YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN IN 1. You rummage through your plastic bag
collection to see which ones you can keep to take to the shop and which ones
can be sacrificed for rubbish. 3. The first thing you do upon entering a
bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine. 4. You accept that you will have to queue
to take a queue number. 5. When a stranger on the street smiles at
you, you assume: 6. You don't think twice about putting the
wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry. 7. A friend asks about your holiday plans
and you answer "Oh, I'm going to 8. You no longer crunch up or fold your
paper money. You always put your money in your wallet. 9. You see a student taking a front row
seat on the bus and wonder "Who does he think he is?" 10. Silence is fun. 11. The reason you take the ferry to
Finland is: 12. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups
a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10
scoops per pot. 13. You pass a supermarket and think
"Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy
something!" 14. A sharp intake of breath has become
part of your vocabulary, as has the sound ”Jah hahh” 15. Your native language has seriously
deteriorated, now you begin to "eat medicine", "open the
television", "close the lights off", “take a beer”, ”look upon
everything” and tell someone to “follow with me” or "you needn't to!"
You start to say “for 2 years ago” and expressions like "Don't panic"
creep into your everyday language. 16. You associate pea soup with Thursday. 17. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now
includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK
symbol, even though there are no cars in sight. 18. Your notion of street life is reduced
to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday
nights. 19. Your bad mood becomes your good mood. 20. Sundays no longer seem dull with all
the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead. 21. "No comment" becomes a
conversation strategy. 22. You have only two facial expressions –
smiling or blank. Also your arms are just hanging down when you chat with other
people. 23. The fact that all of the
"v's" and the "w's" are together in the phone directory
seems right. 24. Your old habit of being
"fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time. 25. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay 26. You begin to understand Johan Tornberg's
broadcast of the hockey game. 27. You refuse to wear a hat, even in minus
20 degree weather. 28. You hear loud-talking passengers on the
train. You immediately assume: 29. You give up on trying to find fat-free
food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar. 30. You know how to fix herring in 105
different ways. 31. You eat herring in 105 ways. 32. You no longer look at sports pants as
casual wear, but recognise them as semi-formal wear. 33. Your front step is beginning to
resemble a shoe shop. 34. You are no longer scared of Volvos and
Volvo drivers 35. You have undergone a transformation: 36. You can actually drink the coffee. 37. You no longer have to search for the
flushing mechanism. 38. You no longer see any problem wearing
white socks with sandals. 39. Indoors you wear sandals with socks,
regardless of the season. 40. You no longer correct people who say
MAC Donald's. 41. You just love 42. You've come to expect Sunday morning
sidewalk vomit dodging. 43. You know that "religious
holiday" means "let's get pissed." 44. You enjoy the taste of surströmming and
lutfisk. 45. You know that "men’s public
bathroom" is another phrase for footpath. 46. You know that more than three channels means cable. 47. You get all the Finnish and Norwegians
jokes. 48. When you're hungry you can peel a
boiled potato like lightning. 49. You eat jam with savoury dishes 50. You've become lactose intolerant. 51. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna
is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot. 52. An outside temperature of 5 degrees C
is mild. 53. It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000kr
on alcohol in a single night 54. When someone asks for
”three cheers” you say ”hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah!” 55. You think that riding a bicycle in the
snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do. 56. You have conversations with people
outside when it is –10C. 57. Having to book seat numbers at a cinema
makes perfect sense. And you sit in your booked seat even if there are only 2
other people there and your seat is in the front row, on the side. 58. You regard it as sensible to eat ice
cream when it is –15C. 59. You regard it as sensible that the ice
cream van comes around playing that annoying song when it is -15C. 60. Someone calls you a ”good
moron” first thing in the morning and you smile acknowledgement. 61. It's
acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00. 62. Julmust starts to taste good. 63. You associate Friday afternoon with a
trip to systembolaget. 64. You think nothing of paying $50 for a
bottle of 'cheap' spirits at systembolaget 65. You know all of the “telephone times”
by heart. 66. It seems sensible that the age limit at
67. You actually care who wins 'Expedition:
Robinson' 68. You have your own innebandy club. 69. You find yourself debating the politics
of the social democrats. 70. You use ’mmmm’ as a conversation
filler. 71. You have only two facial expressions,
smiling or blank. 72. You think it's more fun to stay at home
and drink then go out. 73. You wear warm clothing when it's 25
degrees plus in April - because it's April. 74. You wear shorts and t-shirt when it's
barely 10 degrees in July - because it's July. 75. You get extremely annoyed when the bus
is two minutes late. 76. You think women are more than equal
than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place. 77. Your wife watches TV while you look
after the kids. 78. You become a punctuality freak and dump
your friends for being late more than once. 79. You spend the week's entertainment
budget on a pack of cigarettes and a drink in Gamla Stan. 80. When a stranger asks you a question in
the streets, you think it's normal to just keep walking, saying nothing. 81. You've been engaged for four years and
don't have any plans to get married. 82. Americans start to look entertaining,
witty and fun, and you just want to go to the 83. You and your friends know exactly the
same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of
Social Democracy. 84. You lose any artistic talent whatsoever. 85. You think that if you smoke a joint you
will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a
habitual criminal] 86. You jot down 'fisk fingrar' on your
shopping list. 87. You no longer look for Vegemite on
supermarket shelves, even if it's your first time in that particular shop. 90. You think black rimmed glasses are
cool. Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey. 89. You stop explaining to people what
Christmas Crackers are and accept that they aren't - at least in 88. You have an uncontrollable urge to mail
this list and point out the numbering is incorrect! 91. It doesn't feel like lunch unless it's
a hot, full course meal drenched in gravy. 92. You eat unlimited amounts of sausage
products without worrying about your nitrate intake. 93. You think that an unripe wedge of
tomato on a limp leaf of iceberg lettuce can be called a salad. 94. You don't question the concept of
'telephone time'. It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on
Friday afternoons. [or the entire month of July] 95. You assume that anyone who apologises
after bumping into you is a tourist. 96. You feel discomfort if you can't find
the nummerlap machine. 97. You reach for your pocket 20 times a day as mobile phones ring all around you. 98. You actually care if your mobile phone
meets the fashion standard - and so do your new Swedish friends. 99. It seems reasonable that even those
begging for money at T-centralen reach for their pocket as the melodic music of
the Swedish mobile phone resounds. 100. You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and
think nothing of it 101. Paying $6 for a cup of coffee seems
reasonable. 102. You understand that when a colleague
asks you out for "a drink," it will probably be a long night with a
severe hangover the next day. 103. You start to think that having a sauna
in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life ... and
a necessary part of business. 104. You start to differentiate between
types of snow. 105. You get offended if, at a dinner
party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after raising their glass for a
toast 106. Seeing a young woman with lit candles
stuck to her head no longer disturbs you. 107. You become extremely skilled at
assembling pre-packaged furniture kits. 108. "Candles" are a permanent
fixture on your weekly shopping list. 109. You get to the movies early so that
you can watch the commercials. 110. Most of your friends have the same
names and you must use both names to distinguish between them. 111. You manage to convince yourself that
you really enjoy eating potatoes, tuna, pasta and sausages and it's not just
because that's all you can afford to eat here. 112. You accept you must walk 2 kilometres to
collect your book/tape from the Post Office, because they don't deliver small
packages (or large ones) 113. You finally accept that the milkman
isn't going to roll up - ever- and you have to go out in the snow to the shop
to buy your milk. 114. Your shed becomes the first stage in
the recycling process and you can't get in it for bags of
paper/cardboard/bottles, refundable glass/plastic, recyclable glass/plastic/
containers/etc. 115. You accept that you will never again
wear your beautiful stiletto heels because: 116. When offered a bottle of beer the
first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage. 117. You take every opportunity to raise an
enormous flag in your garden. 118. You can't contemplate actually doing
anything until you've first had a 'fika' (with coffee AND cake). 119. You think it entirely reasonable to
pay $40 for a five minute chat with the doctor. 120. You use the alcohol percentage-per-kroner
standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine. 121. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is
regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily. 122. You no longer snigger when your kids
ask for a Plopp when you're out shopping 123. You think it's normal to park your car
only on the right hand side of the street and are quite happy to move it
elsewhere on Thursday evening because the street is being cleaned 124. You accept that you will get parking
tickets regularly and stop caring that you have no idea what was wrong with
your parking. 125. You don´t eat the jacket on your
potato. 126. Nobody fights to get the "parsons
nose". 127. People keep showing you print outs of
this list on the bus. 128. Hearing the words f*ck and shag on
daytime TV seems perfectly normal. 129. You think 130. You mutter "oy,oy,oy"
continually to yourself even though you are the only one in the room. 131. You understand why there is a Green,
Red and Blue underground. 132. You understand why the underground
does not only operate underground. 133. Even you can hear your own accent. 134. When someone asks you for
"sex" you assume they mean half-a-dozen. 135. All winter you dream of what you will
do in summer, and summer is the warmest day of the year 136. You wear a dress or skirt over your
trousers and combine them with training shoes (this is especially problematic
if you are male) 137. You expect to find the glove you
dropped in February hanging on a post in June 138. Bringing dead sticks indoors at Easter
and hanging coloured feathers on them seems a good way to celebrate spring. 139. Pigs say ”nerf
nerf”, frogs say ”kvack, kvack” and roosters say ”kuckeliku” 140. You immediately think that a bottle of
wine contains 75cl, and a carton of cream is 3dl. And you can’t for the life of
you remember just what 500ml is in dl or cl. 141. “It's 5 degrees outside" does not
necessarily mean PLUS 5, it could mean minus 5. 142. You talk of –10C as
”10 degrees cold”, when in 143. You know that ”Extrapris” goods are
cheaper, even though your English mind translates the word as ”extra price” 144. You will squeeze past somebody rather than say excuse me. 145. When returning to "civilisation" you hear yourself saying TACK all the time. 146. The first thing you do in the morning is to switch on your car heater. 147. Drinking spirits can only be accompanied by formal singing from song sheets and vice versa. 148. You accept that adverts for houses do
not include the price of the house. 149. You accept that Job adverts do not include the salary scale. 150. A fun way for people to pass a wintry afternoon is to watch a Bandy match outdoors when it's minus 20 degrees. 151. Everybody has an outdoor thermometer at home and they all compare temperatures when they get to work. 152. You start eating egg and bacon instead of bacon and eggs. 153. You ringed somebody yesterday instead of you rang them. 154. Your husband is very long instead of
being very tall 155. You think coffee is supposed to look
and taste like mud, complete with a mouthful of coffee ground sediment. 156. You pay the TV-avgift because you
think you're getting your money's worth watching SVT. 157. You start looking at socialbidrag
(welfare) less as an absolutely desperate last resort and more as a way of
life. 158. You pour filmjölk (soured milk) on
your Kellogg's Frosties. 159. You put tomato sauce (as in Heinz Big
Red) on your macaroni. Just tomato sauce. And love it. 160. Your preferred pancake topping is lingonsylt. 161. You begin thinking that you're going
to actually miss blood pudding for breakfast while you're visiting 162. You don't want a cold glass of Coke
with ice on hot summer days but rather a nice steaming cup of coffee. 163. You start to think that smoking is
really not that bad, even for 13 year olds. 164. You stop searching for a T-Bone steak. 165. You start believing that good service
is overrated. 166. You can't remember the words to the
theme of Gilligan’s 167. You accept and take for granted that
you will just have to suffer through a cold. 168. You take two hour naps at work and the
idea of losing your job never crosses your mind. 169. You don't even get surprised when the
doctor, not only can't help you, he/she can't even diagnose you. 170. You take it as a given that your
wife/husband will get so wasted on Midsommar that he/she will end up in bed
with someone other than yourself. 171. You tailgate people who are driving
120 on the freeway. 172. You think Australian coffee tastes
like water. 173. You don't get disgusted by the little balls of discarded snus (chewing tobacco) at your feet at every bus stop. 174. You don't even get disgusted by seeing
people spit, constantly. 175. You start talking to yourself in
Swedish. 176. You think nothing of spending all day
at IKEA looking for a piece of furniture and then spending the whole next day
putting it together. 177. You wonder how you ever lived with
wall to wall carpeting 178. You take your shoes off when entering
a house while visiting your family in 179. You can't throw a plastic bottle away
with out having a guilty conscience. 180. You think an hour and a half cycle on
your washing machine is a "quick wash". 181. You not only order a pizza with
asparagus, banana and bernaise sauce on it, but you actually like it and wonder
why they don't offer it back in Australia. 182. You think of where you will be going
in terms of the shoes that you will wear. Your favourite pair of
"Barbie" shoes keep getting buried further
and further back in the wardrobe. 183. You find yourself munching on Kalles
Kaviar and hårdbröd at 184. You get used to hotdogs being called
sausage and you eat them as the "meat" part of a meal without a bun. 185. You find yourself wobbling home from
the pub on your bicycle. 186. You know how to take care of a
toddler, a pram with baby, a shopping trolley (that needs to be returned for
the coin), paying for and bagging all your own groceries, without ever once
expecting anyone to offer to help you. 187. You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in
your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free
shopping bag. 188. You think horse meat is a totally
acceptable sandwich topping. 189. You think there is nothing wrong with
planning Christmas around Kalle Anka (Donald Duck). 190. You don't even think about what you
are saying when you are off to the shop to buy your favourite brand of cat
food, and you say, "Be right back love, I'm just gonna go get some
Pussi" 191. You start calling Coke
"cola". 192. You get up for a cigarette at 193. You have 53 different recipes for strömming
and you're about ready to clip number 54 from Dagens Nyheter. 194. You start thinking dance bands and Tom
Jones are kind of cool. 195. You think that people who wear other
colours apart from black, grey, white or blue are exhibitionists. 196. You start to miss
falukorv when you go on vacation 197. You know the words to more than one 'snapsvisa'
and sing them without difficulty. 198. You can deal with the idea that the
week starts on Monday. 199. You would never ever even consider
using a metal knife on the butter. 200. You are no longer offended by the fact
that you are a Swedish size XL when at "home" you are a medium. 201. "Godis" and
"glass" become daily necessities. 202. When visiting others you try to go in
first. If it's locked THEN you ring the doorbell. 203. While visiting 204. You start spelling the days of the
week in lowercase! monday, tuesday.... 205. You find that you can't spell in
English anymore. You now replace C with K. Like panik, automatik, seasik,
arithmetik.... and you try to remember does papper/paper have one or two p’s in English? 206. You no longer make appointments, but
instead you book times. 207. You read text instead of sub-titles. 208. As a student, you accept and even
enjoy getting dressed in formal wear to go to a candle-lit 3 course dinner
where you will alternately bang on your table and stand on your chair singing
songs in praise of alcohol each and every time you attempt to raise your fork
to your mouth. 209. You have an Åhlgrens “Bilar”
addiction. 210. You know all the Fanta and Marabou
flavours. 211. You think that the 25kr 212. The words "typ" and
"liksom" are part of you spoken English vocabulary. 213. If a friend says that he/she would
like to get together with you, you instinctively reach for your pocket
calendar. 214. You own a pocket calendar. 215. You begin to understand Danish. 216. It seems normal to you that you've
been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours
when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there. 217. You can identify the people on Big
Brother and Expedition Robinson. 218. You plan to watch "kvinnofängelset"
(Prisoner) the next day because you need to know what happens. 219. You can name the toppings of at least
ten different pizzas just by name (which is coincidentally more than the
pizza-baker can himself) 220. You accept that you will never get
what you ordered at Burger King. 221. Not only do you not mind, but even expect
to wait ten minutes for a Big Mac at McDonald's. 222. You ask for a Big Mac and company
outside of 223. Trousers/pants tucked into all shoes,
including low-top sneakers, seem like reasonable fashion sense. 224. Someone cuts you off on the freeway and instead of giving them the finger, you simply mumble "eedeeyout" under your breath. 225. You even lock your car to take a pee on the side of the road. 226. You no longer think it odd that you talk to your kids in English and they answer in Swedish. 227. You sit and pretend that Ice Hockey is a great substitute for footy. 228. You use your Swedish Lexicon to look up all the English words you've forgotten. 229. You say “I’m almost annoyed” when you’re as furious as humanly possible. 230. You find it completely natural that otherwise sensible people dress up in silly hats on several occasions during August while they’re eating crayfish and drinking as much vodka as they can. 231. Christmas has changed so much that you only associate it with rice porridge and Donald Duck. 232. You don’t think twice about calling someone in the next room using your mobile phone. 233. People buy you a drink in November
because they remember when you bought them one in March. 234. You have no idea what "The X-files" is but you watch "Arkiv X" as soon as it's on TV. 235. It's normal
for a post office to be located inside the local 236. A 25 % sales tax on just about everything is no big deal. 237. VD is the boss, not something you need to get medical treatment for. 238. You know the names of at least three different types of sill (pickled herring). 239. Opening your Christmas presents on the 24th of December no longer seems like cheating. 240. You can use bra, fart, and slut in the same sentence without giggling. 241. You go on a package holiday to 242. You refer to weeks by their number. 243. You carefully dissect the restaurant bill so you know to the exact kr. how much everybody owes. 244. You know the catalogue numbers of all of your favourite wines at Systembolaget. 245. It's May. It's 15C degrees. And you're stretched out on your balcony in your bikini trying to get a head start on your tan. 246. You don't understand why your friend from Mississipi took offence when you referred to him as a yankee. 247. You no longer laugh hysterically when you hear a sappy love ballad being called a "butter song". 248. 249. You've come to accept that customer
service departments don't do anything to help customers. 250. If you meet someone you haven't seen in ages you just stay right where you are chatting away even if that happens to be in the doorway of a very busy department store. 251. You think the songs played at
"The Eurovision song contest" are instant hits. 252. Christmas presents are opened
somewhere between Donald Duck and "Karl-Bertil Jonsson" on Christmas
Eve. Whoever heard of doing it the morning of Christmas Day? 253. If no TV station airs
"Ivanhoe" on Christmas Day you become extremely irritated. 254. You just have to watch "Grevinnan och betjänten" on New Years Eve. 255. You don't find it strange that they add tax on top of the taxes. 256. It's perfectly normal to hear teenage girls say "cunt" as a swear word. 257. You no longer find it hypocritical to
hear people bashing Australian culture in one sentence and in the next hear
them saying that they've always wanted to go to 258. Food is supposed to often be white in colour. 259. You're no longer repulsed by the idea of eating pölsa or isterband. 260. You find it reasonable that reviews of
non-Swedish movies with a Swedish actor in them should use at least half of the
space available to discuss how good or bad the actor was in it, even if he had
just one line. 261. You understand the jokes in "Pistvakt". 262. You watched "The Phantom
Menace" and "Attack of the Clones" just to see Pernilla August. 263. It's normal to have an entire pizza just for yourself. 264. You have learned how to schedule your
bouts of illness so you don't get sick on weekends. Because if you do get sick
on a weekend you have a hard time getting to see a doctor and you've wasted a
weekend. It's much better to be sick on a Monday so you can call in sick. That
way you can extend your weekend! 265. You don't get surprised when kids come trick-or-treating during Easter, all dressed up like witches. 266. You don't find it odd to find movies with a "translated" title. It's perfectly normal for a movie to get a completely different English title than the one it has in the rest of the world. 267. You sing bawdy drinking songs instead of Christmas carols. 268. The first light of understanding in your child's eyes is when he bangs his little cup against something and says, "ska!". 269. You use the word "or" as a question. 270. You consider 11 the standard age for no longer riding in a stroller. 271. You are concerned when the picture on the front page of the paper is not of some completely random person watering their garden or of a child holding an animal. 272. You think it's normal that people take shoes in a bag to the theatre 273. You start using "rather" as your most common adjective in English 274. You stop thinking you're being yelled at every time you hear "Hey!" 275. You no longer expect to just "call in" unexpectedly on a friend. 276. You no longer feel it's unbearable inside an over-heated shop wearing full winter gear. 277. You no longer look for toilets marked specifically male or female 278. You remember to buy the weekend grog
supply before 279. It is your birthday YOU have to make the cake 280. You know you have to hurry home to stop the ice cream from getting too hard. 281. You start collecting travel brochures and talking of trips to tacky places like Gran Canaria just for a fix of sun. 282. You agree to pay 500kr for a basic hair trim. 283. You accept that fruit juice is always made from concentrate. 284. The most interesting report on the news is the weather. 285. You start to believe that everything
in 286. When you say good bye to someone you depart by saying 'Have it so good' 287. When you make a mistake or an accident happens you say 'It was not the meaning'. 288. You don't blink an eye at the cloak room size at the pub with all the boots and stuff in there, despite the fact that it may be 3 levels high and cost 5 bucks - making a pub crawl definitely out of the question sometimes. 289. You get annoyed when you realise you have to say “not too much and not too little” instead of “lagom”. 290. You either run for the last pendeltåg at 1 am or choose to party on until 5 am when they start again rather than endure the horrific night bus home, as a taxi ride would require taking out a 2nd mortgage. 291. When you arrive at a destination you immediately scan for the nearest free toilet or private hide away - crikey even Mack - Donalds is off limits. 292. You find yourself eating bay-con for breakfast and talking about Bill Clin-ton and taking a trip to Lon-don. 293. Anything good and in particular food is “giant good”. 294. 295. The wash cottage is not a holiday resort but a very competitive environment, where the rules should never be broken and in particular never go over your time by even a minute or you risk a lot of sucking and muttering from the next in line. 296. A recipe for drugs is not instructions on how to make them. 297. Gift is not a present but it could be dangerous (whether it is poison or marriage) 298. Using a shovel when you are cooking is perfectly normal 299. A dime is yummy not currency 300. Sambo is not a racist remark 301. When talking about centuries the Swedes all seem to be a hundred years behind. 302. When a Swede realises that you are an Aussie, you immediately rattle off the facts about sharks, spiders, snakes and other creepy crawlies just to get it out of the way. 303. You know what 'What seventeen' means. 304. Swedes saying Va' to you is still annoying (even after ten years), not to mention that there is no real word for please, or? 305. You think that reading this list is one of the most exciting things you have done for ages. 306. You know that "fan" is a swearword, and not an
admirer or an air conditioner. 307. You eat pizza with a knife and fork. 308. You
only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol. 309. All of your conversations resemble a chess game, with each
participant quietly and patiently awaiting the other to finish their turn. 310. You've owned more than one Volvo. 311. You accept that any bureaucratic employee is incapable of a single
autonomous thought and that anything, regardless of how ludicrous, is law once
committed to paper. 312. You no longer find this list funny, just painfully true. 313. You know the names of two or more Swedish ministers. 314. You get excited when you hear someone speaking English. 315. You travel north on vacation instead of south. 316. You start to mix up your c's and k's when writing in English. 317. Even the 140kg amateur body-builder uses the handicapped
door-opener instead of "straining" himself and you think nothing of
it. In fact, you do it yourself. 318. You take off your shoes when entering someone's house outside of 319. A seven-year-old with his own mobile phone seems perfectly
sensible. 320. You no longer eat yoghurt, you drink it. 321. You know the Swedish national anthem better than your own. 322. The inescapable stench of Mamma Scans' meatballs on your fingers,
which CANNOT BE WASHED OUT, no longer disgusts you. 323. You put both jam and cheese on toast and call it breakfast. 324. You were excited when Kalles Kaviar released "Kalles
Randiga". 325. You eat caviar from a tube. 326. The only pasta that you eat takes 3 minutes to prepare and is inedible
unless drenched in ketchup. 327. Three for the price of two is the deal of a lifetime, regardless of
what it is. Even 3 for the price of 2 1/2 surprises
you. 328. You use a coupon to save 5 kronor on something that costs over 100
kronor. 329. Your wallet contains more plastic than a 330. Christmas is more intimately tied to "Kalle Anka" than to
Santa Claus 331. You can tell the difference between the different radio stations. 332. You make liberal use of compound words never heard of by Webster or
Roget. 333. You actually pay an annual television fee without feeling
infringed. 334. You actually pay an annual television fee. 335. The idiots in all your jokes are Norwegian. 336. You tease people from Skåne about their "Swedish". 337. In chess, you refer to the knight as a horse, the rook as a tower,
and the pawns as farmers or peasants. 338. At Easter, pre-adolescent boys dressing up as old women isn't a
sign of a developing psychosis, it's just part of the festivities (although it
may explain a few things down the line) 339. You feel a certain sense of pride when you see Swedish people in
films or on foreign TV shows. 340. Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it
coffee or alcohol. 341. You aimlessly
chat using SMS. 342. A
“big strong one” is a beer. 343.
When someone says "Cheers" you look at everyone in turn before
drinking. 344. You
know that going for a coffee is a first date. 345.
When someone asks you "Hi, how are you?" you actually take time out
to explain how you are. 346. You
automatically try to dress the same as everyone else. 347. You
know the words to the frog song. 348. When you stop converting Swedish crowns into your native currency. 358. It seems
sensible that you need to be at least 25 to buy a bottle of red wine. 359. You
don't think twice when you hear "Shake it out". You just check it out. 360. When you
are terrified of meeting you neighbour in the stairwell. 361.
When you see that the time is 3.30 and you say it’s " 362. You can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking
it. 363. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad
clothing. 364. The only thing in your quick memory is “Hej” and “Hej Hej” 365. You think 366. You think is perfectly normal that people get in to nightclubs/restaurants with innerbandy stick and shopping bags. 367. You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or tunnelbana. 368. You accept that people talk to you only when they are really drunk. 369. You accept that the best answer for a question is always "Jag vet inte" meaning "I don't know". 370. It's acceptable that you don't have the same rights as Swedes to buy a mobile phone, rent an exclusive apartment in Gamla Stan, or to make a reservation by phone to a restaurant. 371. You accept the fact that to rent an apartment you have to wait in the queue for 5 years. 372. Pronouncing Euro as “Evro” makes sense. 373. You never get sick of meatballs and/or falukorv, cooked any style. 374. You're complaining in January not because it's minus 10 degrees, but because there's no snow. 375. Your house is starting to look like the showcase to IKEA. 376. You
think it's acceptable that builders start banging and hammering at 377. You
are horrified if you see anyone drinking wine with their lunch. 378. You
haven't been to the pub on a Monday for five years. 379. You
start calling squid "black fish". 380. You
are accustomed to every other front page headline in Expresson or Aftonbladet
being about some food/drink/activity being dangerous for your health. 381. You
inform your partner six months ahead of a weekend when you will be playing
cricket/rugby/football. 382. You
tell the ticket office staff that you have seen someone drinking beer on the
underground station platform. 383. “Sex and the City” is on at 389. When
you think it's perfectly normal to leave all the manufacturers' stickers on all
of your glass ware. 390. When you reply 'Yes, thank
you' when people ask you how you are. (Hur är det? Jo
tack.) 391. You understand that yiros
(kebab meat) is not only found on a roll but also on a pizza too. 392. You
always wait until you are actually driving before putting on your seatbelt. 393. You
think 394. When someone asks for a cup of tea, you give
them a cup of lukewarm water and a selection of teabags. 396. You accept that
people talk to you only when they are drunk. 397. You recognise the
taste of surströmming right away. 398. You
randomly begin sentences with the catchphrase "You know you have been in 399. You
start thinking about the weekend on Wednesday morning. 400. You
automatically line up the barcodes on all your groceries at the supermarket
checkout. 401. You're used to see
horses everywhere, and constantly step in their “heaps”. 402. You're used to seeing dog owners picking up the dogs’ heaps in
little black plastic bags. 403. You think it's perfectly OK to wash your car just once a year - the
day before the summer holiday drive. 404. You start thinking about buying a boat. 405. Your kid can use a pacifier until he/she starts school. 406. You're not surprised anymore when hearing about an old petrol
station being turned into a mosque. 407. You know that twenty hundred is a year, not an hour. 408. YOU
CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN |